The 12 most frustrating things about casual dating

It sometimes takes time to find a date

It sometimes takes time to find someone that you actually want to date casually. If you meet someone and they are looking for a serious commitment, they are not right for you. Equally on the other end of the spectrum are people that are uninterested in dating at all! Finding someone can be tough, and it takes time. That being said, it *is* about meeting like-minded people, so you could end up sleeping with your first date and having a great time doing so!

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They may not be good at sex

This is a critical factor in a casual relationship. When you are seeing someone with a relationship in mind, there are a whole host of factors that come into play that have nothing to do with sex, and they are important. Are they easy to get on with, do they like to do the same things as you, do they share values, are they going to make a good mother/father? All these things matter in a relationship, but in casual dating the emphasis is on the sex. If the sex is bad, then this will end quickly. There is nothing more frustrating than bringing someone home, really horny and looking forward to sex, only to realise that they are terrible at sex! It is so annoying.


They may turn out to be hot, but boring

Just because you are good looking, doesn’t mean that you are allowed to grow up without developing a personality… right? Wrong apparently. The thing about someone who is really hot, is that they are just so nice to look at. They are brilliant to have around… until they start to talk. If you could have them like a vase, one that you take off the shelf to service you whenever you want in the bedroom, they would be perfect casual dating partners… but no. How annoying!


They may be exciting, but not that good looking

Oh you have such a good time with them. They are so fun, witty, they make you laugh, you have a great time out… but when you are heading home you start thinking of reasons for why they can’t go back to yours, because its just not a face you want to wake up to. They are great, but the thought of seeing their come face makes you want to puke. They are just not that good looking. It’s a shame, but what can you do?


They may not be into the same things as you in the bedroom

There are certain things that you want to do in the bedroom. It could be as simple as wanting for them to go on top, but if they aren’t into it this becomes really frustrating fast. If they don’t want to do it, then it takes all the fun out of it. This can be extremely frustrating.


You may not want to do the things that they want to do in the bedroom

You bring them back, everything is going so well. You turn them on, they turn you on, you get on really well and you consider them hot… then disaster strikes! They are really into BDSM and you are not. I make no judgement on someone who is into a little kink, but if you are not, then this has ended before it has even begun.


You may end up into them and develop feelings, and they don’t

This is a hard place to be. A really tough place. As I talked about in my article on Love v Lust, the two are entwined. If you are in lust with someone, and then you begin to develop feelings, it can make the lust deeper and the sex even better. If however the other side does not feel the same, this can quickly lead to a very difficult position for you. You could choose not to tell them, but then you blow your chance of it developing further, so you have to say something. Once it is out there, you cannot stay together any more with a one way emotional relationship developing. Better to end it. You have my sympathies.


They may end up developing feelings for you, and you don’t for them

This is just as hard as the previous scenario – but for the other person. You are now in the power position and in the emotionally easier place. This is not to say it is not tough, it is hard to do the right thing in these situations, especially if you both really get on and you are enjoying yourself with them. However, if they have feelings and you don’t, the only way that is going to end is very messily unless you nip it in the bud. Be strong. Just do it.


They just want to have sex all the time

I mean you love sex, you really do, but come on everyone needs time to recharge, right?!?!


Your schedules don’t match up

Logistics have been the death of so many buddy casual relationships. If this is you, one of the things that likely attracted you to a casual relationship is that you don’t have the time to invest in more. So when the other person is so busy that you never meet up, this can be really frustrating, for both of you.


They leave the country

There is no getting around this. They are never going to stay just for you, and you aren’t about ot up and leave your roots no matter how much fun you are having together! So it ends. Frustratingly inevitable.


They meet someone that they like… and it’s not you

This is the WORST. You know logically that it was part of the casual contract, but when they tell you that the reason is that they are about to try and go steady with someone else, it sucks beyond belief. There is no way around it.


So there are the top 12 most frustrating things about casual dating. If you are doing it right, eventually you will find yourself in one of these situations. When you do, know that you are not alone!

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